Hectic Parking and Heart Gratitude: A lesson in letting go and finding peace in the present moment, no matter how messy it might be.
Hectic parking situations—count me out.
This is something I used to obsess about; it’s part of why I didn’t like to commit to events. It sounds so silly to say that out loud, but it’s one of the many things I used to obsess over for any event I was invited to.
The Parking Dilemma and Anxiety’s Grip
Anxiety had me worried about things in the future. So, yes, the threat of a hectic parking situation was a real thing. I love my husband—he always drives, and this is a big reason why.
Of course, my youngest daughter got invited to a birthday party on my husband’s shift day. I distinctly remember using Google Maps, street view of the house so I could figure out if it was a tight neighborhood. My brain fussed over if the driveway was long. I mused over if I would get trapped if I parked in there. I worried over what would happen to my care if I parked on the street side. Obsessive. I mean, really—who plans out an entire reconnaissance mission for parking? But there I was, mapping out the driveway and ready for battle…all for a kid’s birthday party.
I had so many plans and contingency plans that I only felt a little queasy driving my little bumblebee to the party. Blessedly, once I got there, another parent had parked his truck on the grassy knoll of the cul-de-sac. Hectic parking situation solved. I parked right next to him.
My little one went on to become everyone’s best friend while I sat outside enjoying the fresh air. Honestly, I think she made more friends in one afternoon than I did in a month! While she was making friends, I was coming face-to-face with an unexpected lesson in my own patterns.
Obsessing Over Every Detail
Y’all—all of my obsessing over the potentially hectic parking situation did not help me in the long run. All I managed to do was work myself up and burn myself out imagining all possible solutions. I ended up using none of them. Instead, I just followed the lead of other parents, which is usually a hard pass for me. I’m not opposed to following; I’m just more likely to lead—it’s the toxic hyper-independence I’m still trying to let go of. (You know, the kind that has me convinced I need a backup plan for my backup plan.)
Anxiety’s Impact on Daily Life and Decisions
Honestly, I wish I could say this birthday party bonanza taught me a lesson on not stressing, but bad habits die hard. One year, I even did a drive-by of the event the day before, just to get a feel for what the parking situation would be like. It helped at the time, but it’s also just plain exhausting. Before having children, I would simply choose not to attend events at all, but I want better for my girls.
Heart Gratitude: The Turning Point
Creating the life I want for them has forced me to confront a lot of anxious circumstances. Slowly, I’ve come to realize that obsessing about the parking situation is just one of the many ways I’d constantly focus on the future and not the present. Living in future worries, no matter how big or small, has not gained me any solace over the years. Turns out, stressing over imaginary problems doesn’t make them any easier to solve—who knew?
These days, I’m trying to embrace heart gratitude and stay in the present moment. It is easier said than done for a “planner” like me.
Tips to Try Heart Gratitude
One of my favorite practices is writing in a gratitude journal. I picked up this habit while listening to the Rachel Hollis podcast after reading Girl, Wash Your Face (she also fully explains her journaling process in here podcast here as well, if you are interested). My daily gratitude journal has been my go-to for five years now. Just five simple things from my day—like an early morning with my girls or a favorite walk with my mom. These small moments are everything. When I look back, I’m not focusing on the “big stuff”. It is usually the simple, joyful details I wrote down that bring me the most warmth.
How to do it:
- 1. Write today’s date.
- 2. Write the sentence starter: “I am grateful for…”
- 3. Number underneath from 1 to 5.
- 4. List specific moments from the past 24 hours that you are grateful for.
It’s that easy. I do this in the morning and use it as a way to reflect on my previous day. I know others have success doing it in the evening, so see what works best for your schedule.
Reasons to Try It:
When you set an expectation to write down things you’re grateful for, you start to notice more moments of gratitude throughout the day. Holding yourself accountable to write it down means you’ll develop a habit of daily gratitude.
On days when I’m feeling low, I read back over my moments of gratitude and allow myself to feel the feelings I had on that day. Recently, I picked up a gratitude journal from a couple of years ago and was amazed at all the details of my life I’d found worth writing down at the time. They weren’t big, grandiose things like a roof over my head or fresh water. Instead, they were small things like a slow start to my morning or blackbirds sounding like the ocean when they flocked over the field.
That’s the key to heart gratitude: staying in the present moment and finding what to appreciate now.
How Heart Gratitude Keeps Me in the Moment
I don’t think writing down all the things you’re grateful for one day is going to magically help you stay present in the moment. Nor will it help ease your anxiety over a hectic parking situation.
However, I do believe that incorporating heart gratitude into your routine will train your brain to filter your life differently. When my girls are invited to a party now, my first instinct isn’t to dread parking. My first thought now is: Wow, my little girl has her own friends who love her and want to spend time with her. The parking anxiety comes much later. Just kidding…mostly.
Why it Works:
I am serious about training your brain. That’s real. Over time, habitually practicing gratitude can help to reduce stress and anxiety, improve your sleep, and even your relationships. It sounds too easy to be real, but the science is all there. Writing down five things every day is a habit I’ve stuck with for the last five years, and it’s made a huge impact. I know because when I get lazy and “forget” to do it, I easily slip into a more negative headspace.
Is it magic? No. But a few minutes a day really trains my brain to look for those good moments. It’s not just about reducing stress; it’s about genuinely feeling more content with the present.
Other Useful Strategies to Develop Heart Gratitude:
I’ve written about overcoming anxiety before, and I stand by box breathing. Contorting my body to do my brain’s will helps me reset my whole system. It also reminds me that when I try, I can control how my body responds to a situation. It turns out this is a whole lot easier to do than trying to control the situtation
So the next time you find yourself in a hectic parking situation or fearing the threat of one, take some mindful breaths and reframe your mind to focus on present gratitude. Heart gratitude can be a quick mental shift right in the moment because sometimes, the only thing more powerful than parking panic is a well-timed deep breath.
A New Perspective on Life’s Challenges
The facts of life: we’re going to find ourselves in hectic parking situations. There will be moments when it all seems like life is going to hell in a hand-basket. In those moments, it’s easy to get stuck in the suck. What’s more powerful than the suck, though? Embracing the beauty in imperfections. Being grateful that after a long day, you got to sit down on your boring couch and watch an old movie. Having gratitude that your husband took on the task of making dinner so you didn’t have to—even if it got a little burned. Being grateful that you started your day with a strong cup of coffee.
Embracing Imperfect Moments
So, wonderful woman, practice heart gratitude and embrace the imperfections of life. Life’s a series of parking-lot situations, right? Full of chaos, but also full of little moments that can bring a smile. Heart gratitude reminds me that every challenge, every messy moment, is an opportunity to find something good, no matter how small. That’s the beauty in this practice—it’s grounding, and it’s real.
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