The Mess of May, also known as Maycember.
Everything happening at once. Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Teacher Appreciation Week, School Ending, Field Day, Warm Weather Outings, Summer Plans, Graduations, Spring Sports, Dance Competitions.
Burnout in Disguise
May is when burnout comes dressed like celebration. It looks like joy—balloons, cupcakes, sunny field days—but underneath, so many of us are just trying to survive until June.
Maycember: A Wall Before Summer
It’s everything happening all at once when we’ve already been at it for so long. I love summer. It’s a chance to slow down but May feels like a 60 foot wall that has to be scaled before we can get to the sweet, slow relief of summer.
Celebrations…and the One Who Plans Them
For our family May kicks off with my birthday quickly followed 4 days later by my daughter’s birthday and then within a few days Mother’s day. What a beautiful time of celebration, unless you’re the one responsible for planning and prepping the celebrations.
We’ve Done It All (And Then Some)
In years past we have done it all: hosting Mother’s Day brunch, elaborate birthday parties, spring sports, homemade gifts, family dinners, teacher gifts.
It used to feel like I had to do it all—and do it with a smile. But this year? We’re doing it differently.
The Shift
I’m giving myself permission not to have it all together and not to put too much pressure on the month of May. Instead of being caught in this invisible race to summer, I want to slow down and just enjoy the month of May as it happens.
This year we aren’t doing spring sports. Bless.
This year little boo gets to take 2 friends with her to an amusement park instead of hosting multiple parties.
This year, we were supposed to celebrate Mother’s Day at home as a family—but my husband got sick, so it turned into me and the littles going shopping. And honestly, that was enough.
This year my girls will give me birthday presents that their dad helps them buy. I don’t need presents, but it helps them have a special way to celebrate me.
This year my husband will be out of town for my birthday at a training and that is okay.
Letting Go of Flawless
I’m not doing Maycember this year. No more gearing up, over-planning, or fretting. I don’t need this season to go flawlessly—just gently.
Failing to prepare in May doesn’t mean that summer will be ruined. Buying teacher gifts at the last minute doesn’t mean they will be less meaningful.
When Slowing Down Feels Scary
May’s almost over now, and honestly? I still can’t tell if I’m doing it right. Maybe you feel that way too—like you’re trying to scale back, but it still doesn’t feel restful.
I think part of that exhaustion comes from the fear of scaling back. I made a conscious choice to let go—and while it gave me fewer things to do, it somehow ramped up my overthinking.
Am I making the right choice? Will people be disappointed? Does allowing things to be “good enough” mean that I am failing?
A Needed Reminder
As I reflected on these questions, Carrie Underwood’s Jesus Take the Wheel came on Alexa. I didn’t notice at first, stuck in my thoughts of pondering, but then clear as day her voice pierced the noise in my brain “I’m letting go/So give me one more chance/And save me from this road I’m on/Jesus, take the wheel.” And I needed that. I needed to be reminded that it’s not plans or lack of plans that matter. It’s His plans.
The New Mantra
Good enough is good—and that’s the mantra I’m choosing to focus on for the rest of May and June for that matter. Goodness, not perfection. Goodness, not pressure. Goodness, not guilt.
You Are Not Alone
The pressure to hold it all together in May is real–especially for women, especially moms.
I don’t know what Maycember looks like for you right now. But do know this:
You are not alone.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re not failing.
It’s okay to not be ‘on’ all the time. It’s okay to feel like you are barely scraping by.
But, it’s also okay to enjoy the goodness of being good enough. Don’t let your brain trick you into guilt mode. Scaling back does not mean you are caring less. It’s easier said than done, I know. When I say no to spring sports or a classmate’s birthday party, I can feel the guilt weaving into the crevices of my brain. It waits for me to be caught off guard—then it consumes my thoughts and makes me feel like a bad person.
Guilt is Not the Truth
But that’s not real. Real life truth? Saying yes to everything means you are saying no to a lot of other things. Things that might even be more important than what you are saying yes to. In saying no, I’m making room for peace and presence.
Here’s your invitation to do the same this year and next year.
Your Invitation
Dear Wise Women,
I invite you to be good enough. If May has you feeling like you are about to crumble under the pressure, remember that you don’t have to earn summer. Embrace the chaos. Let it be messy. Goodness, not guilt will see you through.
Love,
Jess
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