The Mess: My Closet. It’s closet cleanout time.
“Mom, you should do your closet too.” Those were the words uttered by my sweet 7 year old this morning while we were getting ready to go to church. Her 7 little words set my head spinning. When in the world did she expect I would find time to do a deep clean of my closet. The audacity of my 7 year old is astounding, but also nothing new. Even though her words were quite audacious, like always they held some wisdom. I should clean out my closet, but our life has just been overly busy.
Life in Motion: When Slowing Down Feels Impossible
January and February kept us busy. Honestly it feels like we have lived a whole year in the past 6 weeks. Competitions for both my girls. A friends and family trip to Colorado. A change for my husband from shift work to day work. A massive tragedy that not only affected our family, but our community as well.
It feels like we have been in constant motion, even despite my intent for the Slow Start in January I wrote in my latest blog post (The Year of Enough). We built in time to slow down and have fun with our family including a trip to Great Wolf Lodge and birthday parties, but we still found ourselves under water with daily life.
A Family Reset: Cleaning Up for a Smoother Daily Life
So, this weekend we decided to do a reboot of our house in an effort to get our daily life running more smoothly. This reboot included the girls cleaning their rooms and my husband doing a closet cleanout. While my husband dutifully deep cleaned his closet, because he wanted less clutter, the girls needed a bit more motivation. So naturally I took away the TV, computer, and VR headset until their rooms got cleaned.
My husband and I both reminded them that this three day weekend could be fun or they could spend all three days cleaning. It all depended on how swiftly they worked. I even gave them a budget for 20 minutes of my time to help them. I told each girl that they could put me to work in their rooms. They had to work while I did (this mama ain’t no fool). We set Alexa for 20 minutes and away we went.
The day of cleaning was a success. While the girls and my husband worked on their individual spaces, I tackled the rest of the house. The kitchen. The living room. Multiple loads of laundry. I felt good with the results, even if my oldest daughter went over her budget on my help in her room. She is notoriously the messier of my two girls.
The Closet Cleanout Revelation: A Simple Comment That Hit Hard
This morning before we left the house, my husband was showing off his side of the closet and my youngest daughter remarked “Mom, you should do your closet too. It’s a mess.”
I just smiled at her and laughed because I should do my closet cleanout. I should, but I spent my day helping everyone else in my family. My husband’s side of the closet looks SO good. Both girls now have rooms that are not only walkable, but cleanly organized. The results are good and benefit everyone but what did I actually do for me?
Why Is It So Hard to Put Myself First?
I didn’t. The greater needs of the house are met and my days will run smoother because of it. So I’m okay with dedicating my time to the greater good. I’m really hopeful that everyone having their personal things organized will result in less “Hey, mama” or “Hey, babe.” “Do you know where this very obscure thing is that I need in the next five minutes?”
It’s good, but it’s not for my sole benefit either. IIt makes everyone else’s life better and puts less pressure on me. But my closet? Still unorganized. My daily life will still be complicated—just manageable enough.
“Mama, you should do your closet.” I should…but I didn’t. I should do things just for me. But that’s not my default. Habits are hard to break but somewhere along the way I have pushed my helping myself to the bottom of the list.
Self-Care vs. Everyday Care: The Difference I Need to Embrace
I love self-care and work hard to find ways to incorporate it into my life, especially during times of transition like I wrote about this blog post (Self-Care During Transitions ). Dinners with my friends and girls trips are always scheduled in my calendar. I get pedicures and massages. I value putting care into myself because I know that when I take care of myself, I feel better and do a better job taking care of others, especially those I love.
I know I need it, but it requires effort for me to make it happen. That’s why I’ve built these things into my life, but still my closet isn’t clean. Everyone else had a closet cleanout and the result? Their closets are organized and easily accessible, but mine is not. I didn’t help myself on our family cleaning day, but the weekend isn’t over yet.
What a sweet gift of self-love it would be to declutter my closet, so I could wake up every morning and be able to easily access the clothes I loved.
In doing his closet cleanout, my husband got rid of all the clothes he didn’t love. In cleaning out their rooms, my girls got rid of a lot of things that no longer served them. It’s time for me to do the same. This week I will clean my closet. I will clean it just to benefit me.
A Gift to Myself: Closet Cleanout for My Own Benefit
I want to clean my closet to better my mornings solely for the focus of my own benefit.
Even typing that feels selfish.
But it’s not.
I just have to train my brain to believe it.
I’m hopeful that walking into my clean-edited closet each morning will give me the reminder I need. Put helping myself first at the top of my list.
The Oxygen Mask Reminder: Prioritizing Myself Daily
On our plane ride to Colorado, I listened when the flight attendants reminded us all to put our oxygen masks on first before helping others. I know the wisdom in that message, which is why I make sure my monthly schedule includes self-care. Now my new objective is to reach for my oxygen mask first everyday instead of only a few times a month.
What’s one small thing you can do today, just for you?
What About You? Small Ways to Put Yourself First
Do you ever find yourself helping everyone else in the house before you help yourself? I’m on a journey in this season to find simple ways to help myself first. Tomorrow my closet cleanout! Next week, something else just for me.
What other ways should I tackle putting myself first daily?
What would it look like to gift myself the gift of making my life easier just for my sake?
How would it change my daily life?
How would it motivate me in other aspects of my life?
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