Finding Peace During Christmas Chaos: Embrace the Magic

The Mess: Christmas Shopping. Tis the season for stressed out women trying to make the Christmas magic happen for everyone.  My goal this season was to find peace during the Christmas chaos. This year I was determine to get all the business and busyness of Christmas shopping over and done with early so I could actually enjoy the holiday season. 

The Plan: A Perfect Christmas Season

Amazon has been my best friend. Amazon and 4 stores later, I had pulled it off.  Set on a path of success, I turned on a new-to-me movie, Don’t Worry Darling and began to unbox all of my packages. 

I’m a sucker for a dystopian theme so this movie was right up my alley. I loved the idyllic 1950’s vibe and the ease of life everyone in the movie seemed to enjoy. Spoiler alert: the perfection didn’t last and the cracks of the utopian society and everything unraveled.  

Utopia never works out and here’s why.  Perfection is not sustainable. After finishing all my Christmas shopping, I started to feel like this Christmas season would be perfect. I was going to pull it off without losing my mind. On this night, while my girls were at their dance studio preparing for showcase, I planned to wrap all of their presents. 

This year I would not be trapped in a room wrapping presents at the last minute while my husband took the girls out of the house to keep them distracted. This year I was going to be able to slow down in peace and actually enjoy this Christmas season. Perfection. 

The Reality Check: When Plans Fall Apart

Then boom my husband called to tell me my oldest daughter wasn’t feeling well. He was going to bring her home instead of dropping her off at dance. Poor little babe was running a fever and exhausted. 

Sugar plum fairies. There went my wrapping time. There went my plans of a peaceful perfect Christmas. Now my mind wandered to how I was going to make it all work. 

What if she was still sick this weekend and couldn’t do showcase? What if her sister got sick as well? What if neither one got to perform the songs they had been working on for months? Would I be trapped in a room on December 20th wrapping all the presents? 

When Peace During the Christmas Chaos Feels Impossible

Perfection is not sustainable, this side of heaven. We can, however, try to find peace during the Christmas chaos.

I quietly hummed a favorite holiday tune “Peace to you. Joy to you. For God gave his son and that’s good news for you. From heaven above God sends his love and now we wish it for you.”

A Therapist’s Advice: Define Your Values

At the beginning of this month I shared with my therapist my feelings of doubt over this season. I decorated for Christmas the day before but my heart wasn’t in it. I was actually feeling down right Grinchy and I didn’t like it. She shared with me that a lot of people feel that way during this season, but also that I didn’t have to stay there. 

She reminded me that I have a choice in how I want the season to go and it all starts with where I put my priorities. She encouraged me to make a list of my top three values for this Christmas season and to weigh all of my decisions in alignment with those values. 

At the top of my list was peace. I didn’t want to spend this season hurried, rushed, and frantic. I wanted to hold on to peace. Hence why I finished all my Christmas shopping in advance. Taking one day to get it all done meant I wouldn’t have to spend my precious free moments between holiday activities running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Focusing on Peace During Christmas Chaos

Actually going out and buying gifts for everyone filled my heart with joy. When I thought about people’s reactions to the carefully picked gifts I selected, my heart swelled. 

My husband and I also discussed this year that we would put quality over quantity when gifting presents. That small alignment helped me worry less about “only giving one gift” to someone. My peace came by focusing on the genuineness of the gift and the love I’d be gifting with the intention behind it. 

The high of completing my list early led me to believe that peace would be with me.  I was finding peace during the Christmas chaos, even in a crowded store. All I had to do next was get everything wrapped in the same week that I bought it. Getting everything done in the first week of December would ensure that I would have peace for the rest of the Christmas season…perfection would be mine! 

Writing that now I can see the unrealistic expectation that I set for myself. It seems ludicrous now that I’m writing it, but at the time it felt logical in my brain. Funny how our brains can trick us into believing something that isn’t true. I think that’s why the exercise of writing down my top three values for this season was such a good one. 

The next item on my list centered around making magic for my girls. I love to stay present in the moments that I have with them, but I’m also cognizant that my time with them in this season of our life is precious. I only get to have them in this sweet season of childhood for so many years so I want to make magic for them while I can. 

The Gift of Presence: Finding Magic in the Mess

How could I bring magic in the mess of ruined plans and a sick child? Tossing aside my carefully laid plans for peaceful perfection? I could have locked myself in a room while my daughter was home sick from dance class and wrapped everything like I originally planned. That wouldn’t bring much magic though. It sounded like the opposite of magic and peace for that matter. 

Instead I left all the presents carefully tucked away in my room and snuggled my daughter on the couch. 

By the light of the Christmas tree we watched her new favorite show The Middle and giggled over the family’s mishaps and chaos. The Heck’s, especially the mom, try so hard to find adventure in their small town in Indiana, but some type of chaos always ensues. 

I thought peace meant getting everything done early, so I would be prepared for Christmas and have the time to be fully present for all of the fun activities. Turns out peace for me just means being present, full stop. A lesson I had learned long ago after reading the book Present Over Perfect.

Perfection vs. Peace: Lessons from a Dystopian Movie

Utopian societies always crumble into dystopias because when we put perfection at the top of our list, we are choosing it over something else. In the movie I watched, Don’t Worry Darling, choosing perfection meant dismissing the wants and feelings of the wives. They were perfect and happy until they remembered slivers of their old lives. Then they questioned everything. 

My advice to you this Christmas season is to ask yourself what you are saying no to by choosing perfection? The pressure to perfectly nail this Christmas season is far too high. Buying the perfect presents. Taking the perfect family Christmas photos. Attending every holiday event and gathering. Crafting the perfect highlight reel of festivities. It may look perfect, but it will crack. Choose instead to find your own peace during Christmas chaos.

The True Meaning of Christmas: Anchored in Love

Perfection is not meant to be ours (this is something I struggle with) . That’s why God sent his son in the utmost imperfect conditions. So when a wrench gets thrown in your holiday plans this season, remember to hold tight to what you want to place value on. 

For me, I can have peace and magic even without everything going according to my plan because at the top of my list for this season is Jesus’ love. 

Yes, I still want to wrap all the presents and engage in all of the holiday festivities. I still want to curate a magical experience for my girls and capture these moments for my own personal highlight reel, but there is peace in knowing that I can have it all without the pressure of perfecting it. 

A Gentle Reminder for the Season

Nothing went according to earthly plans for Mary and Joseph. I can only imagine the dreadful feelings that encroached in their minds at each new turn of chaos, but they turned their hearts towards God anyways.