Finding Balance in The Mess: Too Much Candy
The Mess: Too much halloween candy. Just kidding…but seriously. Since having kids, we always seem to have an abundance of candy in the house. When I taught high school it was easy to get rid of. I would take all the extra candy and use it to bribe high school students. It definitely killed two birds with one stone. Teens are highly motivated by candy and it go the temptation out of my house.
Clutter and Temptations
What’s your excess Halloween candy? Those things that you put up and away so they are out of sight and out of mind, but ever lurking there in the cabinet. The temptations of clutter. Maybe it’s physical things like candy or junk food, but maybe it’s something intangible like stress or responsibilities. Both types of clutter build up when they are neglected and need intentional sorting.
The Temptation of Ignoring Problems
Wait, what? The temptation of clutter? If you are tucking them away in a mental box or physical cabinet, there’s a reason for it. You are pushing them aside and not dealing with them in an intentional way.
It’s easier to neglect something than it is to actually work through it or bigger yet, let it go. It’s tempting to push things aside. It’s even more tempting to desperately hold on to control of something that you cannot change. Unfortunately tucking things away in cabinets whether physical or mental, have a way of returning to us.
This year I found myself throwing out all of our excess holiday candy after giving in to too many late night temptations. I’m not going to lie, throwing away all of that old candy felt cleansing with only a smidge of guilt (not being wasteful was drilled into me when I was younger). I felt freedom. Temptation problem, solved. Except it’s the beginning of October and I’m going to struggle with the new haul of Halloween candy my girls are bound to bring home.
Candy Clutter and Guilt: Finding Balance
Obviously the best solution is to remove all candy from the house forever and not let the girls go trick-or-treating.
Hahaha. Fat chance. They love that stuff and I don’t want to dim their childhood experiences because I have a lack of control when it comes to chocolate. It certainly would be easier to chuck it all, but in the long term it would be far less-effective. Instead I need to find balance. Too bad I don’t have any teens I need to bribe with all the excess candy.
Having an easy dumping ground for candy is just one of the many things I miss about teaching. Just kidding. There are a lot more fundamental things I miss about teaching, at the top of the list is definitely connecting with and inspiring students (read more about that here). Sometimes I even want to go back, but then my husband reminds me how burnout I was. I was forever seeking to find a balance.
The Struggle with Flexibility
When I was teaching, I had a rigid routine that I had to follow in order for my very messy complicated life to function. Now my new job offers me more flexibility with my schedule, so I can actually participate in my daughters’ lives during school hours. It’s wonderful to enjoy it without feeling like my professional world falling apart. Beautiful, right? It was for a while and still is, but with this drastic change came new types of struggles, as is such with any transition in life. Like Halloween candy, too much flexibility can feel good at first but can create its own issues when left unchecked.
Finding Balance and Rediscovering Routines
With my new found freedom and flexibility, I flexed my independence and let go entirely of rigid routines and it felt good for a while, until it didn’t. It turns out that while the rigidity of my overall schedule was sucking my soul, not all of the routines were draining me. Some of them were actually giving me life. I just had to find balance.
Rekindling Meditation Practice
One routine I miss is meditating daily. I used to do it before work to calm my anxiety. That tightness in my chest would disappear after a quick session with my Insight Timer app. But once I left teaching, the need for it faded, so I let the habit go. It felt freeing at first, like dropping one of the many weights I carried.
The tricky part is, I still get anxious sometimes—especially before new events. One day, I took five minutes to meditate before a big work meeting, and shocker, it worked like it always does. Now, I’m trying to bring meditation back into my daily routine, not because I have to, but because I want to. The difference now is I get to choose when to do it, finding balance with the flexibility I have in my new life. Overcoming anxiety is something I am always finding new healthy ways to work through.
The Meal Prep Struggle
Just like my meditation practice, meal prepping became a routine I let go of, but rediscovered as a valuable tool when used with balance. When I was teaching, I had a strict Sunday routine that involved hours of meal prepping. Because of my husband’s shift work schedule and my teaching schedule, I never knew who was going to get my girls on the bus. It vacillated between my husband, my mom, and my sister-in-law. Some mornings they got to sleep in because dad was home and other mornings I had to wake them up at o-dark-thirty and drop them off; either way they had to be fed. To minimize my stress in the ever-changing morning shuffle I prepped lunches for me and the girls on Sundays, so we could grab it and go.
It was a beautiful gift I gave my future self—until meal prepping became so rigid that I felt I couldn’t function without it. I started saying no to fun Sunday activities with friends just to stay home and prep for the week. While it made my weekdays smoother, it also felt like a survival tactic. I recently discovered this article that highlighted some hard truths about my routines. Namely that I was using them to mute my fears of uncertainty, but also that they were cutting me off from engaging with the world.
Finding Balance in Meal Prep
Once I began working in a more flexible job, I quickly let go of meal prepping. I had envisioned being the ideal mom who made wonderful breakfasts and packed lunches every day. We all would then happily skip to the bus stop together. For a while, that brought me joy, especially since I’d never been home in the mornings before. But eventually, it felt like a never-ending treadmill.
I love to cook, but preparing lunches every single morning began to feel like a trap. When I shared my feelings with my therapist, she suggested I consider meal prepping again. It made me laugh, having done it religiously for ten years. I hesitated to start it back up because I wanted to enjoy my newfound freedom.
Flexibility vs. Structure: Finding Balance
After reflecting on it, I decided to give Sunday meal prep a try for a week. To my surprise, it gave me more freedom, but didn’t stifle my life. Now, I find myself loving cooking again because I don’t have to be in the kitchen every morning. Plus, I’ve involved my girls in the meal prep. My youngest is excited to help, and my oldest only wants three lunches prepped a week because she enjoys buying school lunch—wild!
Learning to Let Go of Perfection
In trying to be the “ideal mom,” I didn’t consider what my girls wanted. I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself. Now, I get to meal prep because it benefits me and allows me to enjoy Sundays without the stress.
I’m learning that I can dance between structure and spontaneity in order to create my own version of balance for my life. For me, the excess of flexibility I found in my new schedule turned into a temptation. It felt good at first to drop the rigid routines I held on to so tightly during teaching. Now though I’m realizing that what is more important than hoarding my flexibility is finding balance. Instead of throwing away all of my routines, I get to choose the ones that I want to keep because they make my life better. Just like with the candy, it’s not about eliminating all routines or temptations, but learning what works for you and your family.
It’s probably true with Halloween candy too. Instead of stuffing it all in a cabinet, maybe I can find balance this year and only keep the pieces of candy my girls actually like. Let’s be honest though, I’ll probably be throwing out this year’s candy next September, but at least I’m learning to choose what to toss and what to keep, both in life and in candy.
Finding Balance in Life: There is no one, right way
So, wonderful woman, how can you find balance in your life today?
What area of excess in your life is creating temptation that could use a good purge?
What area of control could use a good flex?
Where do you need to work to find more balance in your life?
It’s all about balance and good balance is always changing based on the season of life you find yourself in.
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